an old embarrassing story

A friend of mine recently asked me about embarrassing moment in my life, and as I thought of this story I just laughed and laughed. It's maybe more ironic and sad than embarrassing, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

So, I was in first grade in Mr. Hadden's class at Prince of Wales Elementary school in Calgary. There I was, an extremely shy child... like painfully so... sitting at my little table. I got up to ask if I could go to the bathroom, and Mr. Hadden (who was probably only 35 or so, and the handsomest man I had ever seen) obliged. I left the safety and comfort of our classroom and walked out into the hall, which was still kind of scary for me, and made my way to the nearest bathroom. I noticed there was a huge sign on the door. I looked at it for a while... I was still just learning to read... and wondered what it said. I walked into the bathroom which was empty, and suddenly I realized that the sign on the door was probably an "out of order" sign. Thoughts of exploding toilets, and flooded hallways filled my mind as I paced back and forth, and examined every stall. Everything looked fine, but what if I flushed a toilet and somehow flooded the whole school?! I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I tried to think of what I could do instead... there was another bathroom somewhere on the other side of the school that I had heard rumors about, but I knew I would get lost trying to find it. There was also one in the "sixth-grade hallway" but there was no chance I'd wander over there with all those big kids hanging around. So I decided that I would just wait. We had P.E. in about 15 minutes which would last only 30 minutes, and then I would run home for lunch. We lived right across the street. I went back to the classroom after what must have been a long time. I sat down and waited for what felt like forever, but was probably only a few minutes. I approached Mr. Hadden a second time. "Didn't you just get back from the bathroom?" "um, yeah, but I have to go again." Out I went again.

This time I stood in front of the door for a very long time, trying so hard to figure it out. Nothing. I went in again and paced around some more. All the walking around sort of eased the urgency, and I decided, yet again, that I could hold it. I went back to my little chair, and moments after I sat down, I just lost it. I let it all go. I love thinking of my thought process at this point... "okay, this is embarrassing, but I can hide it. When we line up to walk to PE I'll just stand at the back of the line, cause Mr. Hadden always stands at the front, and then when we start running laps around the gym, i'll just keep my back to the wall and kind of run sideways, and then I'll just sort of stand off to the side for the rest of the class, and then I'll run home and change a lunchtime. Mom won't even know."

The bell rang and everyone stood to march off to class. I just hung out in my chair till everyone was lined up. I took my place at the back, and then to my horror, Mr. Hadden came to the back of the line! He had never done that before! We started walking and shortly thereafter I felt a hand on my shoulder, and Mr. Hadden said, "Bethany? Did you have a little accident?" Oh the humiliation! Mr. Hadden, of all people! I just said yes all sheepishly and went to the principle's office while they called mom to tell her what had happened. She came quickly with dry clothes and asked me how in the world it had happened. I told her all about it and showed her the sign. She read it to me.

It was an ad for an up-coming school activity.

An auction.

I would just love to know what Mr. Hadden was thinking as he saw that after two trips to the bathroom, I had still managed to pee my pants. Luckily I didn't have to face him again that day, since dear mother let me stay home and miss the afternoon classes.

tape faces & large poultry

well hellooo....

the other night my roommates and i went a little crazy. we'd been studying too much and we had just had it. we threw down our books in disgust and... well, that's not true. we were just sitting around the table catching up on each others' lives, and there happened to be some tape on the table. So, naturally i picked it up and made myself a pig-nose. it got such a great reaction from my roommates that i just kept going. sadly, i don't think they'd done this before. i taught them how, and then we all kinda went crazy.

first we taped our faces up all screwy, and then we dressed up like large poultry and had a race down our hall.... it was weird and oh so fun.

___

we didn't get any pictures of us standing, but try to imagine it, it's very funny. oh, but you can see it in the little video down below.

it was extremely tiring. seriously.

the race:

shall i make it permanent?

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i'm not quite dead.

Well, I thought I would blog over Christmas, but it was just so nice to not be on the computer, and t be able to sleep and eat as I pleased. The entire break went by and I never did update this thing. I've decided not even to bother. So many awesome things have happened recently and it's a pity not to blog about them all, but its just too much to catch up with.. so I'll start with today.

I started school again a week ago, and I was hoping to have a calmer semester... in some ways it is, but basically, it just isn't.

here's what busies me:

ballet part 2

it's an intense class... it went from one hour on tuesday and thursday in fall semester, to an hour and a half MWF this semester. My teacher is in her 60s and she's such a cute little thing. she's just as flexible as ever and i feel lucky to be able to be taught by someone with so much experience. On our very first day we started doing all these leaps (it took us the whole semester to get that far in the fall...) I still find it hilarious and i feel like a clumsy little girl. most of the other students have danced their whole lives, and i think are just in there to make themselves feel good about themselves. it's a good workout and i love it a lot.

History of the Middle East part 2

This one's great. Just your basic history of the Middle East from 1800 till now. The books look awesome and I cannot WAIT to get back into the current stuff. I'm bored of ancient things. I want to study terrorists and radicals again. Call me crazy, i just find it fascinating.

Farsi part 2

This class is worthy of a blog post of it's own, which I may just do tonight. The teachers are amazing. And by amazing I mean just funny and ridiculous and I wish I could hang out with them all the time. Seriously. It's taught by Mary and Hooshang, who are married. They're from Iran and are an older married couple. Their marriage was arranged... and sometimes they don't hide how they REALLY feel about that. I love them so much. The language is great too, but honestly I'm in it for the 4 and a half hours I get to spend with them every week.

Intro to Middle Eastern Studies...

Yeah, this class is supposed to be the first one you take in this major. I think I did it the right way though. Think how easy it'll be: Basic geography, Islam, and history.

Arabic part 4

Ya salaam...! Okay, I've written about this insanity present in this program before, but honestly, it just got way more intense. I didn't think it was possible. I really didn't. It is my life. Really all day. Every day. Oh man. Maybe this needs a post of it's own too. I just want people to see what is required of me so they can laugh with me at the ridiculousness of it, and also so they understand why it seems like I've disappeared. Maybe it's an old topic. No, it for sure is, but I'm sorry. It's just who I am now. I love it, and I'm very proud of myself, cause I actually got all of my homework done last week, and then again today! It meant studying both friday and saturday night, but I'm glad I did it, and I think I have to get used to that... I wonder if I'll ever date again...

Belly Dance part 2

Oh man! This class is insane! It was so fun last week! I was so out of breathe by the end. Odessa just kept us going for the full hour and a half. I could hardly walk the next day... who knew belly dance was so hard on the thighs? Our recital this semester is on the 24th of march I believe... just FYI.

MESA (Middle Eastern Studies/Arabic) Club

I'm an officer in this thing, and I kind of forgot about it... We haven't done much for the last few months, and we just had our first meeting last week. I'm excited about it. We're going to do a lot of fun things this semester and I'm really excited about it. A whole smattering of Iraqi refugees just came to SLC so we're going to arrange some cool things with some of them. So far we're trying to get this old man who's an artist to come and give lecture in arabic and sell his stuff. I'm excited. We also get all these perks as officers that is mainly why I think I'll try to stay as an officer again next semester. The MESA faculty take the student with the highest GPAs out to lunch every semester. Even though I don't fall into that category, I still get to go! They take all the officers with them! It should be grand. We also get invited to a lot of cool lectures and events, and usually to the receptions/lunches afterwards and get to mingle with various ambassadors etc.

**

Well, that's my life right now. It's so so so busy, but I also have some great goals that are keeping me sane. So far I've been going to bed by 11 (except a couple days... and weekends... so for like a week, haha) and getting up at 7, exercising every day and eating healthy. Oh life is great! Well, who knows, it may be a month or so till I get back here.

**

Okay, a quick update: I was dating someone, and now I'm not... I think I said I would post about it... I actually won't be doing that... haha. it was good though, and ended well.

oh man.

i'm struggling through the last week of my hardest semester yet. two days of classes left, and then five days of finals... everything feels a little chaotic, and the arabic program, i believe, is trying to kill me off. seriously. i'm getting no sleep, and i writing papers, doing assignments and studying in every spare minute (except right now cause i'm celebrating finishing my last project for political science!) and now, before i get too comfortable on this blog of mine, which i miss so much, i must go study for my ballet final, which is tomorrow morning... lots and lots of french words. thank you canada.

Raqas al-Beladi: Part 1

رقص البلدي

A little piece of history:

The origin of the term belly dance comes from the Arabic term: Raqas al-Beladi which means "dance of my country." Westerners, sadly, have taken that phrase and mushed it up to be beladi dance, which then morphed into belly dance. Hollywood got it's filthy paws on it, it became westernized, glamorized, and is now looked down upon by most conservative folk. I have taken it upon myself to reverse the trend, support Arab culture, and promulgate the beauty (and intense fun) that is...

The Belly Dance.

It all began in a Persian restaurant called Sholeh in Los Angeles. I was a missionary with only a few weeks remaining before the end of my mission. My Persian friend took us out to dinner and was humiliated when suddenly, the lights dimmed, and the delicate clamor of finger-symbols could be heard in the distance... I turned to see a woman clad in gold (though scantily) perform an amzing belly dance routine. I'd never seen a belly dancer before, and although she was the type of belly dancer that many of us would disapprove of (including our poor friend that had brought us there... she really felt like she was corrupting our missionary minds) I could help but be impressed. I didn't know people could move like that, and I determined right then and there that I would learn how.

I started that night in my apartment, trying moves I could remember, but it was so hard. I decided to wait till I got home.

I got home. I went to the public library and found a DVD, it was a weird DVD. It was a workout / tribal fusion / belly dance dvd... not exactly what I was looking for, but it was all they had. Not a huge selection... Imagine that.

I practiced every day throughout the summer, and I found it to be so stress-relieving, such a good work out, and a really good excuse to listen to my collection of Persian songs all day.

I went to the middle east, where I learned that belly dancing's origins lie in Egypt. There are even carvings of some of the first belly dancers on some of the walls of the ancient Luxor Temple, as seen below...

(photographed by me)

and here they are up close:

It was here that I also found out that belly dancing is one of the highest paid professions in Egypt, and Egypt is very proud of it's heritage. Our tour guide talked a lot about belly dancing, telling us that everyone in Egypt belly dances: men, women, children and even grandmas. You don't need to show your belly, or any skin at all for that matter. He said his little three-year-old daughter is already learning how. (One day I will teach my babies).

If anything, this intensified my desire to learn.

A) I wanted to assimilate more and more into arab culture, and

B) I could make some seriously good money...

One of the highlights of my time in the Holy Land, and even in my life, I dare say, was the night before we hiked Mount Sinai.

I belly danced around a fire by a beduin tent.

It was so amazing. Probably a once in a life-time experience... well, actually, not if I can help it.

I stocked up on jangles and bangles and sorts of lovely things in Egypt, as I knew I'd need them one day, and I am certainly glad I did...

*

to be continued...

Where have I been?

This is a view I'm becoming rather accustomed to... it's what I see whilst walking home from the library night after night.

*

And this is the room that owns me. The JKB (Jesse Knight Building) is really my second home. Much Arabic is studied here (by all of the arabic students... all day, every day).

*

Wow, I haven't posted on my blog in almost a month. That makes me sad. I miss it.

This week (for the first time in about a month) I feel like I can breathe again... but not for long.

Finals begin in just three weeks, and then... ahhh. I will be finished forever with Political Science 200 (rumored to actually be called Political Science 666... I'm believing the rumors...).

Life is good. Thanksgiving is just one week away, and I plan on catching up on this little web-log of mine during that time.

I feel there's just so much to post about... belly dancing, ballet, indoor camping, setting a flaming barge afloat upon a lake, halloween, poor eating habits, free food, sneaking pizza etc. into the library, sleepless nights full of studies (I probably won't write about those) and perhaps even a new man in the picture...

So, stay tuned.

I promise to deliver next week.

midterms and a funny picture

i haven't written on this ol' blog of mine for a long time. that's because it's midterms week(s) here at BYU. last week i had midterms on wednesday, thursday and friday. this week i have midterms on monday, tuesday, and friday and a huge research paper due on wednesday, just to keep me on my toes i guess.

i took my history test on friday and was shocked by my grade (62%). turns out everyone in the class did really really poorly. our teacher realized this and saw that he had messed up on the answer key, so our grades will all actually be a lot better, alhamdulillah.

my teacher is a funny man. he sent out an email to us all, apologizing profusely and sent us the above picture so we could take out our anger before meeting him again face to face in class.

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a little unexpected romance...

yesterday my roommate (ginny) and i went to the library to study.

on the way there i started saying, "ok ginny, our goal tonight is to study very diligently for two hours straight." but instead i decided to be so funny and say "ok ginny, our goal tonight is to get asked on a date."

she laughed (i succeeded in being so funny) and we continued up the hill. we went to the infamous "no shhh! zone" which is a section of the library where you can talk, listen to music, and even socialize if you're bold. we found an empty table and sat down.

behind us was the most interesting thing. there were two boys and two girls sitting at the table which was covered in a lovely, lacy tablecloth, with a candle in its center (the battery operated sort). the candle was surrounded by chocolate kisses, and romantic music floated around them all. it made our table look so lame.

before we could get our books our of our over-stuffed bags, shawn (as i later learned he was called) came up to us and asked if one of us would be willing to be his friend's date for the night, as his had left. ginny didn't want to, but since i hate to turn down the opportunity to serve, i said i would. i went and sat with them. shawn felt bad for ginny, so he went and found her a date too.

there we all were. three dates. it was oh so romantic. shawn and his date (maddie) had been friends for a while, but this was their first date. they were studying together. they had sat at a table already occupied by nathan (my date) and had subsequently found him two other dates before me... they apparently didn't enjoy it. ginny's date was a boy named john, who i think was just 19.

it was all very random, and luckily ginny and i got a ton of chocolate out of it. none of us got a ton of homework done, but we all quickly became (facebook) friends (where we made all sorts of connections through the "friends in common" feature) and had a lot of fun trying to make each other feel awkward.

(yes, we are all holding hands. we had to.)

all in all, it was a good date. i'd do it again.

ginny and i are about to head back up to the library... and what shall i set as my goal this time...?

i am canadian

(photo from here)

today is canadian thanksgiving.

sadly, it's come to mean little to me. we don't get the day off here, so it usually goes by without me even noticing. however, i thought that since i did remember this year, i should, in commemoration, do something. there's a canadian boy who i've become friends with recently who brought some canadianisms to my attention that i had not yet thought of, and so, i share them. please join me in this brief comparison of canada and the usa... mainly in reference to language.

usa canada

canceled, traveled cancelled, travelled

color, humor colour, humour

judgment judgement

check cheque

realize, apologize realise, apologise

defense defence

theater, center theatre, centre

mold, smolder mould, smoulder

civilization civilisation

licorice liquorice

*these are examples from a textbook i'm reading called A Writer's Refence by diana hacker. no wonder i've been so confused for so long. i just thought i was bad at spelling certain words.

this little pronunciation oddity was brought to my attention twice in the last month. strangely i had never heard it in my eight and a half years living in america.

say this word: resource

if you're american, you likely pronounced it like it's spelled: re-source. if, however, you are canadian, you probably said it like i do: re-zource. ask your friends. weird huh?

oh, and how about this:

grammar rules say that you keep all punctuation outside of parenthesis (if you're in america, that is).

if you're in canada, you keep punctuation inside (which has thrown me off many times in papers and things.)

i'm sure their are many more, and maybe some of these aren't completely true. many are things i've just heard from people. i'm sure their are several... not to mention cultural phenomena like the removal of shoes in canadian homes, and the fact that canadians all have dogsleds, and live in igloos with lamps that use whale blubber... oh canada.

on this day of thanks, i am thankful to be a canadian.

*

three years ago today...

i got my mission call to los angeles. wow, time flies.

it's been an amazing three years.

*

fall and some things

i love fall weather.

is it just me or are fall clothes the most fun to wear?

i love so much that i can now delve into my collection of scarves, leggings, gloves, jackets, long socks, leg-warmers, arm-warmers, hats, sweaters and most lovely of all... tights. i have many of all of them.

oh it's wonderful. i untangled all my tights yesterday and i was so pleased with the assortment. summer's heat had caused me to forget i even owned some of these. i wore the ones on the far left to church today.

i think i'll start wearing skirts more this fall.

my feet and legs feel like they're in some sort of dreamland (hence the blurry, dreamy edges on the photograph that i added fro a dreamy effect).

(please note my amazing cable-knit sweater-like leggings)

i think part of why i'm so excited is the fact that my last real fall was 3 years ago. 2006.

i was in los angeles in 2007 and then in jerusalem in 2008. i hardly realized how much i missed it till it came this year.

here's something weird too: so you know how memories are induced by smells? or tastes or other random things? i've realized that it's true about weather too. as i walk around on campus lately i keep finding myself reminiscing and and getting lost in memory - but all my memories are coming from the last time i felt weather like this! fall 2006. it's so bizarre. i keep thinking random things about the boy i was dating at the time, the kids to used to nanny, favorite music of the time, the house i used to live in, and even clothes i used to own. it's just very weird, yet, kind of intriguing.

oh fall. how mysterious you are.

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self-portrait contest

you may have heard about his already here, but i guess i should advertise as well...?

there was a self-portrait photo contest a couple weeks ago, and i didn't plan on entering it, but on the night of the deadline i got an email from brooklyn with her entries, and her suggestion that i try it.

we sent a couple emails back and forth laughing kind of at the awkwardness felt of actually entering a photo contest with a picture taken of yourself, by yourself... it's a little strange... but i decided i might as well, right?

so i got home from campus around 1o (the photos were dues by midnight) and our power was out. i laughed as i lit a candle so my picture could have natural light instead of using a ghastly flash. i took several, and for some reason i look very forlorn in all of them. likely a result of my cold, dark house.

we were allowed to edit our pictures a little, so i made it almost black and white (it's was very red previously... remember, candle light). so i entered it into the contest, and she (the sussy) went and posted them all over her blog (much to our surprise and dismay...it makes you feel very vulnerable).

anyway, i guess the winner needs to get the most votes... so you should go vote for me. or brooklyn. or whoever's picture you like the best. some are awesome, some are funny, some are awkward. mine's probably awkward.

vote here.

or don't, but take a look at least. votes need to be in by midnight tonight!

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i love it so much!

ok, it sounds and maybe looks disgusting, but i am in love with this meal. seriously, i sometimes can't believe how amazing it tastes. i'm eating it as i type and i can't help vocalizing my approval. good thing i'm home alone. oh my goodness! SO good!

so, when you don't have a car, and you do most of your shopping at costco once a month, you tend to get creative as food supplies run short, and thank goodness! this little concoction of mine has been a favorite for some time now, but tonight i just enhanced it significantly.

first let me say, i love rice and i love beans (black or kidney... preferably black). i gained this on my mission. i could eat rice and beans every day and be oh so happy. one day, when it was rice and beans again for dinner, i decided to try to spice it up a little. i was wishing i had some sour cream, or, even better, this stuff that hermana salgado used to give me in LA called crema i think. mmm, so good. anyway, all i had was cottage cheese and i figured, "it's made of the same stuff, right?" so i added it to the warm rice and beans, threw a little salt on there and was nearly overcome with delight.

it was incredible.

i couldn't believe it. i kid you not when i say that this is now probably the most common meal that graces my table. my roommates think it's gross, but they have yet to taste it, so to them i say, well, nothing. i just laugh inside as they eat cereal and quesadillas.

tonight i cooked up some chicken, so it was chunks of chicken mixed with rice instead of beans. i added some edimame to the mix, and as i went to put the leftovers in the fridge, i saw the lonely little can of black beans sitting there next to the lonely little carton of cottage cheese... "No," i kind of gasped to myself in wonder, "could I do it?"

i had to.

i added black beans, to the chicken, rice and edimame, microwaved the thing ('thing' being bowl of heaven) and when it came out it was much too hot to eat. (here's another reason i love this meal): i added too big forkfulls of cottage cheese, mixed it all up, and the temperature was perfect for eating, which i did. (i've now finished the bowl). it is so satisfying. i would invite all who enjoy cottage cheese to change it up a little, and try it in a warm dish. and to those who don't: maybe it's time to give it a chance? might i add, these meals are healthy too. maybe brown rice would be better, but i just love basmati rice so much (and i'm still going through a costco bag of the stuff that i got in january... i think it'll last me till next january too).

well, that's all. maybe i'm crazy and i'm the only one who will ever love this, or even try it. i'm fine with that. it makes me so happy.

*

bulls-eye... well, almost.

(me & boy)

"do you want to go shooting?"

"shooting what?"

"GUNS."

"um, where?"

"in the mountians."

"...uh..."

"i'm not joking."

"...yes?"

"like right now?"

"well, okay."

and so we went. it was amazing. i had never even held a gun before (well, one that had bullets in it). i shot three different little pistols. my favorite was the silver one. i didn't hit the middle of the target even one time, but i'm okay with it.

*

did you get dressed in the dark this morning?

yes. i did.

-

(our power's been turned off due to negligence {not on my part}. plus, it was twenty degrees colder than usual today and frankly, i didn't care how i looked).

farewell summer

i realize its been fall for about a week now, but today really felt like it to me.

i love this little path that i walk down when i feel like taking the long way home.

-

it was so beautiful in the summer, but i think it's improved with age.

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cash money throw down!

Four hundred and eleven dollar bills were thrown off of the Joseph F. Smith Building at BYU today at 12:30 PM. They were inside pink balloons, some of which also contained bubble gum or coupons for local restaurants. There were over eight hundred balloons. It was beautiful.

I got one dollar, four pieces of gum and two coupons.

(you can watch it here)

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in other news...

President Monson came and spoke at BYU this morning. Derek and I got somewhat decent seats too.

it was so good to sit there between stressful classes and listen to him put life in perspective, and realize that i don't need to get so worked up over schoolwork, and that there more important things in life.

and now, here I sit blogging when i should be stressing over this political analysis paper that i have to write on why states provide sensitive nuclear assistance.

yeah, about that...

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frog feet

check out these shoes that my friend was wearing at school today.

i was fascinated. i just couldn't stop looking at them. they're so weird! he said they're for running. supposedly they kind of hurt your feet at first, but then they're awesome and super comfy. i don't know... is it worth it? really?

i'd be interested in trying them on at least.

don't knock it till you try it, i suppose?

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graduate studies.

i talked to one of my arabic teachers today. she's from egypt, and i love her a lot. i was asking for advice on what to do with my life, you know, just small talk... and she had a brilliant idea. i was asking about what grad schools she would recommend for studying arabic.

see... originally i wanted to go to law school, but then i realized that that would giving up three years to study law. (aka, no arabic. at all). after all that i've put into learning this language, and all that i will put into it over the next little while, that's just not something i'm willing to do. plus, i would never be able to pay off law school, as i want to stay home with my babies. so, i've been thinking about just doing a masters program in arabic. i've been looking around on the world wide web over the last week or so, trying to figure out where to go and what to do.

my dear teacher informed me that BYU has an arabic masters program, something i did not even know. i hadn't found it cause it's actually a language acquisition program, with an emphasis in one of like seven languages (so basically a masters in teaching arabic). how awesome is that? i think i've finally found what i want to do (although i keep saying that...). but really, after attempting to learn italian, french, hebrew, spanish, arabic and farsi, i think i'm finally coming to know a little bit of what it takes to actually acquire a language.

this program focusses on linguistics as well, so i may need to take some classes in that area before i graduate. anyway, i'm very excited about this new idea of mine, and i've already made my interest known to the people in charge. i wonder if i'll spend my whole life doing this? i don't know that i'll ever settle on one thing. i don't think people should. maybe that's just me justifying indecision.